Romeo & Juliet: Black Lagoon style
by HazardLife
Summary: The Montagues and Capulets are fighting in Roanapur, Lagoon Company is working for both sides, Rock with the Montagues and Revy with the Capulets. What madness will ensue? Rated M for language, and possibly sex later on.
1. Act 1 Scene 1

**Disclaimer:**I do not own Black Lagoon or its characters, ...but you already knew that.

**Author's Note:** I hate Shakepreare, and of all his plays, I hate Romeo & Juliet the most. Turning it into a Black Lagoon fanfic is my little revenge for countless English Literature lessons sat listening to boring drivel.

* * *

**Prologue**

Two households, both alike in utter disregard for just about everything,

In somewhat less-than fair Roanapur, where we lay our scene,

From ancient piss-up breaks forth to new mutiny,

Where civil blood makes civil hands a little bit more dirty than they already were,

From forth the… Oh who gives a shit anyway?

Basically, there's gonna' be some violence.

* * *

**Act 1 – Scene 1**

_Roanapur. The Yellow Flag Bar._

_Enter SAM and GREG_

Sam and Greg, goons of the Capulet family, sat drinking in the smoky bar. As was the norm with any associates of the Capulets, they were bitching about the Montagues.

"Next Montague I see, I'm gonna' fuckin' shoot 'em!" Sam declared, somewhat inebriated.

"Damn right!" Greg agreed, slamming his fist on the table and almost knocking his drink over.

Bao, the owner of the Yellow Flag, looked over at them apprehensively from behind the bar. Montagues and Capulets were bad news. Tension had been rising between the two families over the past few weeks, and a single spark could set the whole powder keg off. He took a reassuring glance at the loaded shotgun he kept beneath the bar, and went back to cleaning glasses.

"In fact," Sam stated obnoxiously, "I might just go over to their mansion, bust their doors down, shoot them up, fuck all their maids, then torch the joint!"

"Damn right!" Greg repeated, giving the table another shuddering bash.

Suddenly, the door swung inwards, and in walked --

_Enter ABE and BALTI_

-- Abe and Balti, gunmen of the Montague household.

The Capulets turned and glowered at the intruders with contempt. Sam raised his right hand towards them, middle finger pointing solitarily towards the ceiling.

Abe's left eye twitched repeatedly. "Do you bite your thumb at us, Sir?" He asked, which made absolutely no sense whatsoever; however, he had snorted a shit-load of crack earlier, so it was explainable.

"Does this look like my thumb, shit-for-brains?" Sam sneered, raising the proffered finger again.

Abe, who had never been entirely stable at the best of times, quivered with rage, his left eye drifting off lazily to look at a particularly interesting patch of ceiling. In a flash, he reached inside his jacket and withdrew a nasty-looking machine pistol. Balti followed his actions, a pair of pistols springing to his hands.

"You all saw it," Sam loudly announced to all the people in the bar, a grin on his face, "They drew first!"

"Oh crap!" Moaned Bao, diving beneath the counter as the Capulets pulled their own guns.

_They fight_

The patrons of the bar ran for the exits as bullets whizzed back and forth, those who couldn't make it to the doors sufficed with using the windows instead. The Capulet and Montague goons shot at each other from opposite ends of the room, ducking behind furniture for cover.

The fittings and fixtures of the bar were quickly reduced to woodchips and broken glass. Greg took a bullet to the shoulder, and a shard of flying glass had gouged a gaping scar through Balti's left eye and down the side of his face. Despite the seriousness of their injuries, and the copious amounts blood they were losing, neither faltered in their attacks.

"Eat this, motherfuckers!" Screamed Sam, emptying his gun in the direction of the Montagues.

"What, art thou drawn among these heartless hinds?!" Abe raved, returning fire. Even he had no idea what he was saying anymore.

"Sorry," Sam yelled back mockingly, "I don't speak crack-head, try English!"

The two sides continued to shoot at each other, until, by chance, a stray bullet smashed the glass of the only other customer who hadn't evacuated when the shooting started.

_Enter REVY_

The two sides ceased shooting and stared at the tattoo-emblazoned, purple haired woman who was sitting at the bar with her back to them. Neither had noticed her there before, and even with all the carnage around her, she hadn't seemed to have moved a muscle to take cover.

"Hey," She growled dangerously over her shoulder, "I was fucking drinking that!"

The Montagues and Capulets turned back to each other, as if to resume shooting. Revy climbed off the bar stool and faced them. "I can't stand it when people ignore me!" Her guns seemed to materialise in her hands, one pointing at each of the groups.

The trio of opponents stood each other down, a deathly silence hung in the air. The Montagues and Capulets shifted nervously, no longer sure which way they should be pointing their weapons.

Abruptly, the jukebox sprung to life, playing the music from _The Good, The Bad and The Ugly_. "Fuck this shit!" Grunted Revy, adjusting her aim and shooting the jukebox. After a shower of sparks and some unhealthy noises, the jukebox began to play _Pulse of the Maggots_ by Slipknot. "That's more like it!" Revy grinned, her head nodding to the beat.

The room devolved into chaos. No one was quite sure who shot first, but what was certain was that whatever differences the Montagues and Capulets had, they were quickly forgotten as both sides tried frantically to survive the onslaught of this devil-woman who had appeared in their midst.

Revy stood in the centre of the room, firing wildly in both directions. She easily dodged all shots fired at her, a savage grin fixed on her face.

In desperation, Sam pulled a cylindrical object from his belt, flicked the pin out, and threw it in Revy's direction. "Take this, you bitch!" He screamed.

The object landed at Revy's feet, she recognised it instantly. Grenade. Extra-high explosive. Reacting on instinct, she did a running dive out of the door. Realising what he had just done, Sam leapt out window, dragging Greg with him. The Montagues quickly followed.

From behind the bar, a quiet voice moaned, "Oh no, not again!"

The explosion was spectacular. Gouts of flame burst from the windows, the very roof seemed to lift off. Secondary explosions followed, as the Flag's liquor stocks ignited.

Outside, Revy, uninjured other than a few bruises, watched as the Montague and Capulet gunmen ran for the dockyard, having gone back to shooting at each other. She smiled in anticipation. This was getting interesting.

_Enter, several of both houses, who join the fray_

The battle had migrated to the docks, goons from both families were running about in the maze of containers, shooting madly at anything that moved. Amongst it all, Revy was having a great time. She hadn't had so much fun since her trip to Japan with Rock.

The fighting was getting downright brutal. Bullets were running out, and the combatants were resorting to melee combat. Throats were cut, eyes were gouged, jaws were smashed. A Montague charged at Revy with a nunchuk, waving it around like Bruce Lee. Revy casually shot him and ran on.

A white sedan sped through the dockyard gate came to a sliding stop in a wide open area, walled by containers. The driver's door opened.

_Enter DON CAPULET and LADY CAPULET_

"Where's my fucking gun?" Grumbled Don Capulet, rooting around under his seat.

Lady Capulet sighed. "Glove box, dear." She reminded him.

"Ah!" He smiled triumphantly, pulling a scoped 357. Magnum from the compartment.

A second car pulled up in the courtyard, this one black. The door opened, and out climbed --

_Enter DON MONTAGUE and LADY MONTAGUE_

-- Don Montague, armed with a Desert Eagle equipped with a laser sight attachment.

"Take care hon," Lady Montague told her husband, "Don't do your back in again."

Dons Capulet and Montague faced off in the courtyard, their men spread out around the perimeter, waiting to see what they would do. Revy sat atop a container, watching with interest.

"You dare to flourish your gun at me, fucking Montague?!" Don Capulet demanded.

"Capulet, thou cocksucker!" Don Montague spat at him.

The two men stood with their guns pointed at each other, sweat on their brows, their eyes locked together. The wind blew, and some barbed wire, tangled together like tumbleweed, rolled across the courtyard between them. In the distance, someone was playing a harmonica.

The moment was broken by clicking of high-heels on pavement, and clomping of heavy combat boots.

_Enter BALALAIKA, with Henchmen_

The Dons faltered. Hotel Moscow was now the most powerful criminal organisation in all of Roanapur, and a visit from the Lady herself wasn't to be taken lightly.

"Oh, don't mind me," Smiled Balalaika, smoking a cigar, "I'm just here to watch."

The pair stared at her in apprehension, unsure of how they were expected to respond.

"No, please, go ahead, shoot each other. Don't stop on my account." There was a look in the Russian's eyes, the kind of look that a cat would have as it plays with a helpless mouse before killing it. The Dons saw it, and slowly lowered their guns and edged back to their cars. "Hmm, maybe some other time then." She sighed.

Balalaika looked around, and saw Revy atop the container. "Hey, Two-Hands." She nodded in greeting.

Revy waved back. "Yo."

"Aren't you meant to be working for the Capulets?" Balalaika asked her.

"EHH?!" Cried Sam in surprise, from among the crowd of goons.

Revy shrugged. "News to me."

"They hired you to bodyguard their daughter, remember?" There was a hard edge on the Russian's voice.

"Dutch might have mentioned something about it." Revy muttered.

"You mean that fucking bitch is supposed to be on our side?!" Sam screamed in exasperation. Balalaika chuckled.

Revy jumped off container and walked over to Don Capulet. "At your service." She said sarcastically.

"Boss! You can't seriously-" Sam started. The Don cut him off with the raise of a hand.

"If the carnage you've caused tonight is anything to go by," Don Capulet smiled, "No dog-fucking Montague is going to get within a mile of my daughter alive."

"I aim to please." Said Revy disinterestedly, spinning a gun around on her finger.

"Now, it's about time I took you to meet her." He held open to door of his car.

"Taxi service," Revy nodded, "Nice."

"Be seeing you all." Balalaika waved, walking away, a cold smile on her face.

_Exeunt all but DON MONTAGUE, LADY MONTAGUE and Family Goons_

"Where's Romeo?" Lady Montague asked concernedly, "I don't see him here."

"That useless son of ours!" Her husband thundered. "Instead of upholding our family's honour, he's probable off spending all our fucking money again!"

"No," Lady Montague consoled him, "You don't have to worry about that any more."

"Oh?"

"I hired an accountant to keep his finances in check." She told him. "It surprised me, but Romeo seemed to get along with him quite well."

"An accountant?" The Don asked in surprise. "Where did you find one of them in this pile-of-shit city?"

"It's funny," She mused, "He was recommended to me."

_To be continued..._


	2. Act 1 Scene 2,3

**Act 1 – Scene 2**

_The Pink Cat Club_

_Enter ROCK and ROMEO_

"Go on, have another drink!" Laughed Romeo, sprawled on a leather couch, a glass of expensive whiskey in his hand, and a number women in various states of undress gyrating around metal poles in front of him.

"I really shouldn't," Rock tried to decline, "I am on the job, after all."

"Ahh piss!" The young man exclaimed good-naturedly. "Don't worry 'bout it, I'm paying for everything!" This was very true, a fact that causing Rock considerable grief. So far, not only had the Montague paid for the drinks of everyone in the club, he had also contributed funds to two of his friend's drug habits, purchased the services of a hooker for a third, and was almost constantly slipping money to the girls in front of him.

Somehow, Rock had managed to keep track of all the expenses so far, however that would change if he had much more to drink. The problem was that Romeo insisted that Rock keep up with him, drink for drink. Rock had always prided himself on his high tolerance for alcohol, but he was starting to think that this guy could drink even Revy under the table. Maybe it had something to do with whatever drugs Rock suspected he'd taken when he'd been to the bathroom half an hour ago.

Rock sat back and tried to look interested in the semi-acrobatic spectacle before him. It didn't hold much attraction to him. Strip clubs brought back bad memories of accompanying drunken businessmen around Tokyo's seedier districts on night-long benders, memories he'd rather forget. Romeo had picked the venue. Apparently his girlfriend had dumped him, so he was getting over the loss by 'examining other beauties'.

The young man noticed Rock's indifference and spoke up. "What's up, buddy?"

"Not my kind of place." He confessed.

"Why could that be?" Romeo pondered. "You have a girlfriend, perhaps?" Rock shook his head. "Do you want one?" The Montague asked conspiratorially. "I could hook you up someone, no trouble!"

"No thanks." Rock politely declined.

"I know what'll cheer you up!" Romeo thumped him on the shoulder. "Have you ever gatecrashed a Masquerade Ball?"

"No, it's not something I'd-" Rock tried to tell him.

"Great!" He grinned. "That's what we'll do then!"

Rock considered protesting against it, but realised it would be futile anyway. Then something occurred to him. "This ball…" He asked nervously, "It wouldn't happen to be the one the Capulets are throwing, would it?"

"Bingo!" Exclaimed Romeo. "Got it in one!"

"You're mad!" Rock gaped in disbelief. "They're the _Capulets_!"

"I know!" Romeo nodded in excitement. "It's even more fun this way!"

The Japanese grabbed his drink and downed it in one. "Right…" He said in a very small voice.

"Let's go then! We've gotta' prepare for it." The young man practically dragged Rock out the door, giving his friends a wave on the way out.

Rock found himself in the passenger seat of Romeo's bright red convertible sports car, speeding through the streets of Roanapur at a terrifying pace. The Montague was driving like a man possessed, seeming unconcerned that he had ingested an amount of alcohol that would kill an ordinary human, not to mention the drugs.

In the back of his mind, a little part of Rock was hoping that they _would_ crash. That at least would be more pleasant than what the Capulets would do to them.

_Exeunt ROCK and ROMEO_

* * *

**Act 1 – Scene 3**

_The Capulet Mansion_

_Enter REVY and DON CAPULET_

Don Capulet led Revy through the mansion. Revy didn't care much for the architecture; whoever had built the place had had an obsession with marble cherubs and columns. Revy was more of a brick wall person. You could do things with a brick wall. Columns just had no potential.

"I hope you'll try to get along with my daughter." Capulet said to her, then frowning, "Though I feel that may be easier said than done."

"I don't care," Revy shrugged unconcernedly, "As long as I get paid."

Walking down a corridor, Don Capulet indicated a door. "This can be your room. My daughter's is the next one along." Loud boyband pop music was leaking through the wall. The Don hammered on the door. "Juliet! Open up!"

After a lengthy pause, the door slammed open and --

_Enter JULIET_

-- Juliet stood in the doorway with her hands on her hips. "What?!" She demanded in a prissy voice, "Is my music too fucking loud again?" The teenager looked behind her father at Revy. "What're you meant to be?" She sniffed, "Some sort of biker gang ho?"

A vein began to throb on Revy's forehead. She found herself thinking about how great it would feel to break this kid's face.

"She's your new bodyguard." The Don anxiously told his daughter.

"I don't want a bodyguard." Juliet pouted, "Especially not someone like her!"

"Now, now," Capulet hastily tried to avert disaster, "It's for your own good. I only-"

"I'll take it from here." Revy stepped past him, grinning intently.

"Please," Don Capulet whispered to her. "Don't do anything you'll regret."

"Heh!" Revy laughed. "I don't regret anything!" She shut the door behind her, leaving the uneasy Don out in the hallway.

_Exeunt DON CAPULET_

"You don't scare me." Juliet stated defiantly. "Street trash like you wouldn't dare-"

Revy slammed her against the wall. "Listen here, you little fuck! I'm paid to protect you from Montagues. No one said I couldn't hurt you myself!"

"You're not… you couldn't…!" Juliet stammered, suddenly terrified.

Revy pulled a gun from its holster and held it an inch away from the girl's face. "Maybe I'll just take an eye," She snarled, "Leave you a nice hole in that pretty face!"

Revy realised the girl was crying, a pathetic blubbering that annoyed her even more. She released her hold on her, and Juliet collapsed to a heap on the floor.

"Stop that." Revy ordered. The teenager sniffed and held back her tears. Revy squatted down in front of her. "Just so we're clear, I really can't stand spoiled little rich girls who think their shit doesn't stink. However, as long as you don't piss me off any more, we won't have any problems, got it?" Juliet nodded silently. "Good."

Revy stood up and left, leaving the girl on the floor. Her own room was much like Juliet's, but minus the posters and decorations. She let herself out onto the balcony and lit a cigarette. There was a swimming pool in the courtyard below, and for some reason, she felt a bizarre urge to throw people into it with Johnny Cash playing in the background. She couldn't understand why, she didn't even like Country and Western music.

Her cigarette burned down, and she flicked it into the pool. There was a knock at her door. Revy wondered if it was Don Capulet come to complain to her about scaring the shit out of his daughter.

She opened the door and found Juliet standing in the hallway, looking very apprehensive, with a red dress folded over her arm. Revy stared at her for a few moments, the girl becoming more and more uncomfortable under her gaze. "Well?" She finally demanded.

The teenager jumped at the sound of her voice. She looked down at the floor and mumbled, "There's going to be a party later, so I brought you this to wear." She nervously held out the dress.

Revy eyed it, trying not to laugh. "Do I look like the kind of person who'd wear that?" She scoffed.

"But you can't go like… that." Juliet said quietly, trying hard not to say anything that might set off Revy's quick temper again. "Please." She held the dress out further, like an offering to some vengeful god.

Revy, who was unused to people begging her for things other than their lives, was slightly disarmed by the girl's honest expression. She took dress from her with thumb and forefinger, keeping contact with it to a minimum. "I wear what I want." She told Juliet, and shut the door on her.

She threw the dress onto a chair and glared at it like it was some kind of dangerous opponent. She narrowed her eyes, the dress hung impassively, seemingly mocking her. "Hell no." She decided firmly.

_To Be Continued…_


	3. Act 1 Scene 4

**Act 1 – Scene 4**

_The Capulet Mansion_

_Enter ROCK and ROMEO_

Romeo pulled the car up in line outside the gates to the Capulet mansion. A few cars ahead of them, a pair of guards were checking the occupants' of each car's invitations.

After leaving the club, Romeo had driven to the office of a professional thief, a Frenchman nicknamed Merci. Rock had been amazed by the variety of 'acquired' objects on display in the man's office; it seemed that if there was anything worth stealing, Merci had already stolen it – and that included a pair of invitations to the Capulet Ball, which Romeo had paid for at the man's asking price. Rock thought he would have accepted less, but the Montague had insisted.

Even with genuine invitations, Rock didn't think much of their chances of survival. Romeo's car was very distinctive, and a tux and ball-mask wasn't much of a disguise. Rock could see the distinctive bulges of concealed weapons underneath the guards' suits, and hoped they were really bad shots, because as soon as they realised who the young Montague was, they would probably be more than happy to turn them into Swiss cheese.

They were now only one car-length from the guards. Rock began to sweat under his mask. He wondered if anyone would miss him if he died. He hadn't spoken to his family since his college years, for all he knew, they might already think he was dead. Dutch would have to find someone else to do the Company's accounts, which would mildly annoy him. Revy would probably laugh and call him an idiot for getting himself killed.

Romeo turned to him. "Don't look so nervous," He grinned optimistically, "My plan's foolproof."

"I'd be happier if it were bulletproof," Rock said quietly.

"Just smile," The young man encouraged. "Everyone trusts a guy with a smile."

Rock sighed. The Montague's naivety was overwhelming. He wished he could be as carefree, but the prospect of imminent death generally dampened his spirits.

The guards were done with the car in front and let it pass. Romeo nudged Rock with his elbow. "Smile!" He reminded him. Rock tried his best to smile as the guards came closer, hoping it didn't make him look constipated.

"Invitations," One of the guards requested. Romeo handed them over. The guard inspected them, then looked closely at the Montague. "You look familiar…" He said suspiciously.

"I should think so!" Romeo countered assertively. "I am Leonard Anthony Petrucci Capulet, third son of Vito Salvatori Ennio Capulet, third cousin, twice removed, of the master of this House. I'm sure that my distanced uncle is anxious to meet me."

The guard was taken aback, baffled by the landslide of names and titles. "And, erm… him?" The he pointed at Rock.

"My legal counsel," Romeo dismissed. "I'm really hoping I won't require his services tonight, but it's best to be prepared."

"Umm… go on through… sir," The guard added as an afterthought.

Romeo drove the car through the gates and parked it next to a Ferrari. "How was that? Incredible, right?" He boasted proudly. "You can get into anywhere like that. Just act important and people let you in."

Rock, whose heart rate was only just beginning to return to normal, was genuinely impressed with the young man's talent at bullshitting. Back when he had been a businessman, making up excuses had been like second nature to him, but even his abilities paled in comparison to the young Montague.

"I hope they don't check about us with a genuine Capulet," Rock commented.

"Why do you think I picked such long names?" Romeo grinned. "They'll never remember them."

The two men walked through the main doors of the mansion into a grand hall. The hall was filled with men and women in dressed in expensive clothes and wearing ball-masks. A large buffet table took up nearly a quarter of the room, and a well-stocked bar accompanied it. Some of the guests were dancing, but most were standing around making conversation.

Romeo headed straight for the buffet table. "Come on," He said, dragging Rock with him, "Free food!"

As the Montague helped himself to the selection available, Rock nervously scanned the crowd. He was relieved that they didn't stand out among the guests, hopefully there was no one here who would recognise them. He noticed that the guests' attentions were turning to a wide staircase at the end of the hall.

_Enter DON CAPULET, with JULIET and others of his house_

"Welcome!" Bellowed the Don, descending the stairs. "Ladies and gentlemen, friends and family, welcome to my home! I'm glad you could all make it tonight, to celebrate my upcoming victory over those Montague bastards!"

"Jerk," Murmured Romeo, munching on a chicken leg.

"We're all here to have a good time tonight," Capulet continued, "Turn up the music and let's party!" As the music sprung up again, Don Capulet walked among his guests, shaking hands and greeting people individually.

Rock went to the bar and got himself a Bacardi to calm his nerves. Romeo wandered over to him.

"Whoa! Check out that babe up there," He prodded Rock, nodding at the stairs. "She's smokin' hot!"

"Who, her?" Asked Rock, pointing at Juliet.

"No, her!" Romeo gawped, indicating further up. Rock followed the line of his finger to a figure at the top of the stairs… and choked on his drink.

_Enter REVY_

There was no mistaking the figure, even the glitzy red dress and ball-mask could do nothing to hide it. It was definitely Revy. Rock would recognise that hair and that tattooed arm anywhere, not to mention that she was wearing her gun belt – over the top of her dress!

Rock's eyes widened, his mouth went dry. The whole scene was like something out of his bizzarest nightmares.

As Revy scanned the crowd, their eyes locked across the room. In that moment, time seemed to stop, and Rock could do nothing to look away, like a rabbit caught in the headlights of an oncoming truck.

Rock saw the sudden glint of recognition in her eyes. "Hold this!" He thrust his drink into Romeo's hands and ran. A split-second later, Revy reacted, charging down the stairs and after him, through the throng of guests.

Rock ran through the corridors of the mansion, he didn't know if she was behind him, and didn't dare look back. He had no idea what she was doing here, but in truth he wasn't really thinking about it too hard, all his energy was focussed on escaping.

He saw the door for a men's lavatory on the right, and dashed through it. The toilet was empty, save for a single man at the urinals, who gave Rock a funny look as he burst in, gasping for breath.

Just when Rock though he was safe, the door slammed open and Revy stormed in. "You, out!" She ordered the man at the urinal. The man hurriedly zipped up and left. "You forgot to wash your hands!" She called after him.

As soon as the door swung shut, she grabbed Rock by the collar. "What the fuck are you doing here?!" She screamed into his face.

"What are _you_ doing here?" He timidly asked back.

"I asked first!"

Rock decided to give in before Revy got any more impatient. "Dutch set me up working for Romeo Montague as an accountant. The guy's crazy! He's here at the party, I didn't want to come, but he insisted!"

Revy released him with a shove. "You let some rich brat push you around? For fuck's sake Rock, grow some balls!"

"What about you?" Rock asked hesitantly.

"Juliet Capulet. Bodyguard duty," She sneered. "Me! A bodyguard! Can you fucking believe that? Dutch better have a damn good reason for this!"

Rock recalled that she had never complained about being his bodyguard in Japan, but he was more interested in the fact that Dutch had given them jobs working for opposite sides, but hadn't told them about it. "I'll make sure to ask him."

"Sure, you do that. But first, I need alcohol, and you're paying!" She took hold of his arm and pulled him towards the door, then realising something, she turned to him and said, "Oh, and if you ever tell anyone about this," She indicated the dress, "I'll kill you."

As the night progressed, and the older guests got tired and left, the dance hall transformed first into a disco, and finally, dissolved into a mosh pit. Rock and Revy stood on the sidelines, Revy drinking, Rock looking onwards. 'mOBSCENE' by Marylyn Manson was playing, and Romeo and the girl Revy was meant to be protecting were practically dry-humping each other on the dance floor.

Rock wasn't going to interrupt their fun, but he wondered if they'd be as casual if each knew who the other was. Next to him, Revy hiccupped.

"You should probably get some rest," He suggested.

"Pissh off!" She slurred. "I'm fiiine, gemme 'nother drink!"

"I think you've had enough…"

"Shcroo yooou! Yoou're no fun!" Revy wandered away into the crowd.

_Exeunt REVY_

Rock sighed. Looking over to the dance floor, he realised that Romeo and Juliet had disappeared as well.

He decided he wanted some air, and fought his way through to the door. He couldn't leave without Romeo, but he had no idea how long the young man might be, and resigned himself to waiting by the car. He dug his mobile phone out of his pocket and dialled Dutch's number.

After a few moments, the call was answered. "Hey Rock, what's up? I was going to call you soon. How's that job working out for you?"

Rock didn't know where Dutch was, but he thought he could hear a woman's voice in the background. He realised he knew next to nothing about what the Company's founder did in his free time.

"It's uhh… going well," He answered. "I umm… talked to Revy. She's working for the Capulets. I assume this is part of some plan, right?"

"That's what I was going to call you about," Dutch told him. "But how the hell did you get near the Capulets?"

"Long story," Rock sighed. "So, what's this plan?"

"I can't tell you over the phone." Dutch sounded serious. "We'll meet at 2 o'clock tomorrow, at the Church of Violence. Make up an excuse to get away for a while."

"We're not meeting at the office?" Rock asked.

"No, it's too public. We can't risk either the Montagues or the Capulets finding out we're working on both sides."

"Dutch, what is all this about?"

"I told you, you'll find out tomorrow," Dutch assured him. "Also, could you let Revy know about this? I've been trying to contact her, but she's not answering her phone."

Rock thought of what Revy was wearing, and considered that she probably didn't have anywhere to keep a phone in that dress. "Alright, I'll tell her."

"Thanks, Rock. Owe you one." Dutch disconnected the line.

Rock had a bad feeling about the whole set up. The fact that Dutch hadn't told them the full story when he set them these jobs could only mean that something big was going down, and in the case of the Montagues and Capulets, big often meant bloody.

He looked about. Revy would be around somewhere, but whether she'd be in any state to understand anything he said was another matter entirely. Sighing again, he set off in the direction of the mansion."

_Exeunt ROCK_

_End of Act 1_

_To Be Continued…_


	4. Act 2 Scene 1

**Act 2 – Scene 1**

_Outside the Capulet Mansion_

_Enter ROCK_

Rock wandered around, blindly searching for either Revy or the errant Romeo. He had no idea where either of them might be, but he didn't have a better plan right now.

He thanked god for small favours, that most of the guards were attending the party. There was no way he could have walked around the Capulet estate so casually at any other time. There were still CCTV cameras, though. He was trying to avoid them as best as possible, but he'd still been caught on a few. Hopefully the guards in the security station would just think he was a lost guest.

As Rock was strolling through a walled courtyard, the sound of approaching voices warned him that his luck was rapidly failing. As the voices grew closer, he anxiously looked around for somewhere to hide, but found nothing. In desperation, he scrabbled up and over the courtyard wall, disappearing from sight just as a pair of guards rounded the corner.

Rock landed in a heap on the other side, accompanied by a sudden tearing noise. He winced. The tux which Romeo had bought for him now had a large split down the side.

Sighing, he got up, looked around and found he was in an orchard at the back of the mansion. Other that the wall he had just climbed, the only other way out was a stone archway, from which a shimmering blue light seemed to radiate. Nervously, he approached the archway, and saw that the light was the reflection off of a swimming pool.

As Rock crept through the bushes around the pool, he happened to look up and see a figure on a balcony, bathed in moonlight.

_Enter REVY._

Revy was sitting on the balustrade, a bottle in her hand and a cigarette in her mouth. She was still wearing the dress from the party, and looked even more inebriated than when he'd last seen her.

"Revy!" Rock hissed, trying to catch her attention.

"Huh? Rock?" Revy called out drunkenly, looking for the source of the sound. "Wherefuck art thou, Rock?"

"I'm here." He stepped out of the bushes, holding up his hands to try to get Revy to be quiet. "Keep your voice down, I'm not meant to be back here."

"Whatchoo doin' down there?" Revy laughed. "You Shecret-fuckin'-Agent Man or shomethin'? Get your shkinny assh up here. Drinkin' alone shucks!"

There was a trellis all the way up the wall next to the balcony. Rock tested it and it seemed to be strong enough to support his weight. It wasn't easy to climb, but eventually he managed to pull himself up onto Revy's balcony and landed in a heap at her feat, which she found particularly amusing.

As soon as he had picked himself up, Revy thrust a suspiciously unlabeled bottle into his hand. "Get shome'o dat down ya!"

Rock sniffed the contents, cautiously. "Eesh! What is this stuff? Moonshine?"

"I dunno," Revy mumbled, throwing her arm around his shoulders, "But it'sh good shit!"

"You know this could probably make you blind, right?" Rock warned, taking a sip himself. It was awful, but he refused to let himself choke in front of Revy.

"Shnot appenin' yet," Revy slurred, moving her face uncomfortably close to his. Her breath smelt awful. "What I'm sheein'sh all good."

"Christ, Revy," Rock grimace, pulling away. "You're as bad as Eda when you're drunk."

"Hey! Hey! Don't 'pare me to dat fuckin' bitshh!" Revy fumed. "It'sh jusht hard to conshentrate on other shtuff with that racket nexshtdoor."

For the first time, Rock noticed that the balcony doors to Revy's room were open, and sounds of frenzied pleasure were leaking through the wall from the next room. "They'she been at it for hoursh," Revy commented, approvingly. "Shure have shtamina, I'll give 'em dat."

Rock felt himself going red, and hastily disentangled himself from Revy's arm. "Umm, Dutch called me," He coughed, recomposing himself. "He's been trying to contact you. Where's your phone?"

She shrugged. "I look like I got pocketsh in thish?" Rock was forced once again to look at the bizarro-nightmarish vision of Revy in a dress. It did indeed have no pockets.

Suddenly, an extra-loud cry issued from next-door, signalling the end of the event. Rock turned red again. "Ahem… anyway…" He stumbled, "Dutch wanted me to let you know that we're meeting at 2 o'clock tomorrow, at the Church of Violence. Can you remember that?"

Revy gave him a lopsided stare. "Right now, I can't even 'member mi'own name."

Sighing, Rock took a notepad and pencil from his pocket and wrote down the time and place of the meeting. He tore the page off and handed it to Revy.

"A fuckin' notepad?!" She exclaimed in disbelief. "Got anythin' elshe in there, Boy Shcout?"

"Goodnight, Revy," He said firmly, and began to climb back down the trellis.

As he was half-way down, the balcony doors of the next room along opened and a figure stepped out of them. From back inside the room, a somewhat breathless female voice issued. "Goodnight, goodnight! Parting is such a sweet sorrow!"

The figure spoke, a voice which Rock recognised all too well. "Don't worry, babe! You've got my MySpace, we'll talk tomorrow." Then, to Rock's astonishment, the figure ran and without hesitation flung itself over the balcony, canonballing the pool below.

Revy pointed and cheered, in the way that incredibly drunk people tend to do when they see something even mildly amusing.

_Enter ROMEO_

As Rock reached the ground, Romeo was hauling himself out of the pool. His clothes were soaked, and looked like they'd been put on in a hurry. With little else to do, Rock helped him to his feet.

"Rock, buddy!" Romeo exclaimed in surprise. "What are you doing here?"

Rock struggled to quickly make up a reason, but before he could speak, a sharp whistle came from above. Romeo looked up at Revy, who winked drunkenly and gave him a thumbs-up. He looked from Revy to Rock, and then back again, and came to a completely wrong conclusion.

"Nice one!" He yelled in awe, slapping Rock on the back.

Back at the car, Romeo was practically bubbling over with admiration, seemingly unconcerned about ruining the car's leather seats with his wet clothes. "You are incredible, man! I never would have though you'd be able to hook up with a babe like that! I mean, how did you get her to chase you like that? That was awesome!"

Rock resigned himself to playing along. As long as Romeo though that he and Revy were… well… doing it, he wouldn't be suspicious of them. "I guess I must be her type," He said weakly.

Romeo either failed to notice, or ignored the lack of conviction in Rock's voice. "Y'know, usually I'd ask you to introduce me, but I lucked out too tonight," He boasted. "Her name's Juliet. I think I'm in love."

"Uh huh," Rock nodded. "It sounded that way."

Romeo grinned, slightly self-consciously. "You heard that, did you?"

"I wouldn't be surprised if they heard you down at the docks." Rock shook his head. "She does know you're a Montague, right?"

"Most definitely," Romeo stated proudly. "It would have been hard for her to miss. I've got a family crest tattooed right above my--"

"That's enough, I think," Rock said hurriedly.

Romeo shrugged. "Whatever. But don't think you're getting off that easy. I want details of you and that hot chick. Details!"

Rock sighed and checked his watch. 2am. It was going to be a long day.

_Exeunt ROCK and ROMEO_

_To be continued…_


End file.
